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March 7th, 2008

Time:11:41 am
control control control!!!!

i need it back
i end up thinking about certain foods for hours and it's like a battle in my mind going on as to whether i cave in and give in to the craving or whether i don't but then i can't get the thought out of my mind

really need to come up with a way to keep me distracted when these cravings kick in
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January 14th, 2008

Time:12:33 pm
Current Mood:determined
 i feel so totally motivated at the moment 
started 2468 yesterday 
only had 198cals so i stayed within my limit
although it did get really hard later on in the evening and i thought i was gonna crack
especially after my flatmate got a chinese takeaway
but i stayed strong
so on 400 cals today...had 140 so far
i can so do this!
i want to lose about 5lb over the next week or so
hopefully i can lose...gonna do a lot of working out aswell.
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January 11th, 2008

Subject:My Immortal
Time:06:54 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] exhausted
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream i'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me 
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind 
Your face it haunts 
My once plesant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me 
I've been alone all along
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January 1st, 2008

Subject:the start of a new year
Time:01:54 pm
Current Mood:determined

which means the beginnning of a new and hopefully "thinner" me!
ive been waiting all week for this day to come
all the big family dinners are over and out of the way....but oh my goodness do i not feel sooo gross when ive thought about how much ive eaten over the holidays. It really makes me feel sick 
But starting restricting properly again today and i wanna lose 5lb in the next couple weeks so i can get to my first goal weight. I'm sure that if im good and exercise more then it shouldnt take too long to come off. 

:]

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[icon] perfect_danger
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
View:Friends.
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You're looking at the latest 4 entries.